Pretty much since the beginning of the USA, conservative political movements have claimed that they’re the inheritors of some idealized image of the past to give legitimacy to social grievances: whether they’re Trump or Reagan, they want to make America great again—the implication being that they’re reclaiming a greatness that is now lost. My counterargument is that this is indicative of a medical condition known as assbrains.
In an era when comment sections about historical films explode into racist tirades at the mere possibility that Black people may have actually existed before 1971’s Shaft, it’s worth taking the time to ask ourselves why the modern American right loves to bring up their own hagiographic version of history. Here are some common examples, and why those examples are all indicative of terminal assbrains.
“Greco-Roman Culture Was A Bastion Of Traditional Masculinity!”
Right-wing weirdos absolutely love ancient Greece and Rome. Laconophilia has been a hallmark of right-wing militaristic cultures pretty much forever, from Hitler’s Third Reich terminology to the British Empire’s penchant for Latin and incest to Mussolini naming fascism after a Roman symbol of authority. (Sadly, fascism is not named after the fascinus, a magical flying penis fashionable Romans wore around as necklaces.)
In the case of Greece you would think that a proto-democracy wherein a bunch of dudes in towels sat around, sipped wine, and bickered about philosophy would be kind of a turn-off to the cellphones-on-belt-holsters crowd, but alas, Greco-Roman iconography is more popular than ever. Maybe you’ve seen some variation of this dumb crap plastered on the back of your local coal-rollin’ monstrosity that never seems to actually haul things: