It’s no fun discovering truths about something you find innocently nostalgic, such as the timeless (because you’ll expire before it does) Lunchable. However, some factors have become hard to ignore, for one: the inventor of the Lunchable doesn’t even allow his own children to eat them. Don’t be fooled by the quaint yellow box that is, according to the Healthy Home Economist, “the best known example of a modern day lab lunch.” Secondly, 42 versions of the Lunchable exist, yet only five have been approved to be advertised

See, Kraft Foods entered the Children’s Food and Beverage Advertising Initiative, which has food companies agree only to promote products to children that meet a certain nutritional requirement. But to be fair, Oscar Mayer does clarify that Lunchables are meant to be a treat, not an everyday habit. If given as a reward every once in a while, kids will most likely be okay, and the world will keep turning (and kids’ hearts still pumping). 

Still, after being deemed a “nutritional disaster” in the 90s by a pediatric cardiologist at the Chicago Children’s Memorial Hospital, an Oscar Mayer spokesperson retorted, “This is not some big, corporate plot to fatten up kids. This is what kids want, there are very few kids out there who will eat rice cakes and tofu.” Why are rice cakes and tofu the alternative? No one knows. Regardless, the evolution of the Lunchable has certainly been building for years …

Though for many kids, the building was the main selling point. Lunchables gave children independence, or at least the illusion of it, to stack their food however the hell they wanted to. 

For more of Oona’s sarcasm and attempted wit, visit her website oonaoffthecuff.com.

Top Image: TonelsonProductions / Shutterstock

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