It is important to understand that Donald Trump won his resounding electoral victory despite still being under water in his favorables with the American public. What was more than a double-digit gap, though, is now a measly one or two points. It really is springtime for Hitler, Mel Brooks!
That means people overlooked quite a bit about a persona they didn’t care for because of the agenda they wanted him to pursue. And that’s really good news. Because that’s the definition of a mandate if I’ve ever heard one. It goes well beyond the fun we had with killer memes in order to embrace massive policy reform, if not outright revolution.
Poetry will be written and songs will be sung of our hideous joy in spreading seeds of … faith, hope, and love. God as our witness. You can’t stop us.
That’s right. America is back.
What about the calls to be magnanimous and show mercy to those who have tarred us as Nazis and fascists for much of the past eight years? Should we follow Abraham Lincoln’s advice and pursue “malice toward none … charity toward all”? Let me be clear: I have no intention of extending such mercy to our leftist countrymen before raw, unmitigated power goes on the march.
To those dreading the prospect of a Trumpian “reign of terror,” know this — there will be no mercy. Mercy is for the weak, and I offer no words of comfort for your fears. In fact, your worries should be even greater. Prepare for the reckoning ahead. You have been warned. Vengeance is coming.
Behold: For your insolence, we will cut, and maybe even slash … your taxes. And the cost of living. Interest rates. Inflation. No stone will be unturned. You might even be able to move to a different house! All will be brought to their knees with fiscal restraint and affordable living. Milk and eggs will once again flow in kitchens like a mighty river.
Like I said, no mercy!
For your disobedience, you will be rounded up into the choking confines of … secure borders and the guaranteed rights of citizens. Illegal aliens will be sent back to where they came from or put in jail instead of murdering and raping you. Your cats will not be eaten nor your pet squirrels assassinated.
Avert your eyes from such haunting justice!
For all your coercive tyranny, the pharmaceutical industy will be given a free pass to … never again bombard you with cult-inducing propaganda for its experimental toxins or to fund and anoint “experts” with lockdown, masking, or “social distancing” voodoo incantations. We will go so far as to make you healthier against your will for your treachery. Such is the darkness of our hearts.
For your chaotic worldview, we will go into the safe spaces where your women and children reside and deploy brigades of lethal, fully armed men. You have simply given us no choice. It will be your doing, not ours. Like conquerors of old have done, we will enter the domains of the vulnerable and impose our masculine patriarchal will by … making sure there are no bearded ladies or chicks with Adam’s apples bothering you any more.
There will be no exceptions to this. None. Not on your sports teams. In your bathrooms. In your classrooms. We will cleanse it all. Pronouns such as ‘ze’ and ‘shim’ will be cast back into the fires whence they came. Furthermore, your children’s healthy body parts will stay attached to their bodies so that their souls may not completely detach from reality by the time they become an adult.
Our ruthlessness on this front cannot be quenched. How glorious these drums of war!
Oh, and for your disgusting licentiousness, we will cast ourselves upon the earth like a biblical plague to finally, once and for all … get to the bottom of just what the hell is going on in Ukraine before our military becomes as gay as Zelenskyyyyyyyyyy.
That, and stick your “Happy Holidays” where the sun don’t shine, because the almighty wrath of “Merry Christmas!” is upon you like a sledgehammer!
This and more will we do. Oh, so much more. Poetry will be written and songs will be sung of our hideous joy in spreading seeds of … faith, hope, and love. God as our witness.
You can’t stop us.