Coping and Understanding Mental Health and Addiction

The Nassau County PBA reported that suicide rates are a staggering 60% higher among law enforcement than the general population. Departments nationwide need to start being proactive and coactive at the same time in recognizing mental health and substance abuse are on the rise for the Law Enforcement Community (LEC), as 65% of officers have PTSD. (McCarthy & Oliveira, 2024)

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), roughly 1 in 3 first responders develop PTSD compared to the general public, which is 1 in 5 people. (P.T.S.D.,2023) As our first responders are increasingly struggling with the trauma of mental health, data has revealed that they are turning to self-medication to cope with their stress and anxiety, which has led to an increase in substance abuse.

According to American Addiction Centers (AAC), recent data has revealed that 30% of our first responders are not immune to substance abuse. (A.C.C., 2023) When drugs or alcohol becomes an occupational culture as a way to cope with the stress and anxiety with their personal or professional issues, it should be very concerning and addressed.

When self-medicating fails the first responder as it is no longer an effective means of coping and dealing with their issue or issues, it can become deadly, as they may push the limits trying to numb their pain that may be unknown to their department, agency, employer, partner, or loved ones. Our partners in the LEC and our life partners should try to gain a better understanding of Relationships, Recovery, and Relapse and their complexities when substance abuse takes center stage.

Relationship

Gov. Kathy Hochul recently allocated $13 million to support mental health support to New York police officers, and this is one of many coactive relationships and approaches that are needed to take place to address mental health and substance abuse. (McCarthy & Oliveira, 2024)

Relationships struggle in general, but not as much as when impacted by the breakdown of trust and communication from a partner struggling with mental health and or addiction. As your partner is struggling with their mental health issues or addiction, friends, family members, and loved ones also feel the impact as well. There are many programs to help, like Al-anon, which is an excellent outlet for loved ones to gain a better understanding of the issue(s) at hand and cope with their apprehension and anxiety from the impacts caused by the addicted first responder/partner.

Departments also should focus on deploying (CISD) critical incident stress debriefing members or meetings. CISD is one of several components of the critical incident stress management (CISM) system that is a short-term healing process that focuses on first responder’s trauma, one incident at a time, so they may learn to cope and process their trauma without resorting to self-medicating or self-harm.

Recognizing the trauma and communicating within the relationship, whether personally or professionally, that our first responders are struggling with becomes vital to combat these issues effectively. Communication in any relationship becomes affected in so many other ways. Still, when the person struggling with addiction is active (using) or in the recovery phase (not using), communication becomes critical in understanding how to address it.

In gaining a better understanding of these two types of relationships with an addicted partner, the addicted person may become irritable, which leads to a change in their temperament, arguments ensue, and sometimes leads to both physical and verbal abuse. As the addicted person becomes more focused on their addiction and becomes hyper-focused on scoring (getting their drug), they may resort to manipulating and lying behavior not only to protect themselves but to convince themselves or rationalize that this is as acceptable behavior as they are protecting their nonaddicted partner, department, friends, and family from getting hurt or disappointed in their behavior.

They may also have feelings of guilt or shame because of their deception, as they know they are lying to their employer, nonaddicted partner, friends, and family to feel free to use drugs without the judgment and disapproval of others. These feelings and their constant deception greatly diminish trust and communication between all parties involved, making it difficult to nurture the relationship and find a happy balance at work, at home, or within.

The nonaddicted partner must first try to understand addiction and what it is. This is not an easy task, but gaining a deeper understanding of the issue will provide the support and strength required to help the addicted person seek help.

Dr. Gabor Mate’ expresses that “addiction is not an inherited disease, they are not aberrations, they are not moral failures, they are attempts to gain pain relief, emotional pain relief from something or another.” (Maté, 2021)

He continues to add that an addiction can be manifested in any behavior in which a person finds temporary pleasure or relief and therefore craves and continues with that behavior despite adverse consequences and the inability to give it up despite the harm that it is causing to themselves or others. (Maté, 2021)

The nonaddicted partner who communicates or becomes upset and frustrated about the ongoing drug use or addiction must learn to become aware that questions, comments, or statements that start with the word “why” (why are you doing this) have the potential to set the stage for the confrontational dialogue that the person with an addiction will use as an excuse to start an argument only to justify their continued drug use. (Maté, 2021)

If the nonaddicted partner learns to effectively communicate by asking the person with the addiction what is good about the drug and what does the drug actually do for them, and they answer that it soothes their anxiety, numbs them, or gives them relief. The nonaddicted partner needs to continue the conversation with them and communicate to them now that we can recognize that addiction is not your primary problem as your drug use is because it is just your attempt to solve the emotional pain, stress, or trauma temporarily that the drug relieves you of or from.

Discovering or deep-diving into the problem is only part of the solution. The addicted partner must realize that the actual pain or anxiety they are trying to self-medicate is not working as effectively as it was. The addiction is spiraling out of control because of the trauma.

Recognizing their pain is the first step in understanding and seeking the required outside resources and professional help to assist them. The idea behind waiting or not seeking professional assistants right away will not help the person with an addiction or their loved ones in the long term.

Sometimes, addicts experience a fear of intimacy. Pushing the partner away who is trying to help only impedes their ability to nurture a relationship properly and fuels their need to seek the drug. This fear can manifest in many ways, isolation or self-sabotaging behaviors.

The nonaddicted partner trying to protect their addicted partner must realize that in attempting to defend them by hiding their behavior, they are creating a safe-haven that is signaling to them that this is an acceptable and allowable type of behavior. The nonaddicted partner’s intentions are noble, but continuing to do this does not benefit either party as this protection is counterproductive as it becomes an enabling influence in the addict’s life, perpetuating their addiction and destructive behaviors.

Dr. Gabor Mate’ expresses that there are difficult choices to make that will help the addicted partner. One is to detach, saying, “You are not going to judge them for their addiction, but  I cannot stand it. I do not want to watch you; it hurts me too much.” The second choice is saying,” This is your journey, and I should not tell you how it should go, but you have to figure this out without me and when you are ready to get help. I will support you.” The last choice is the most challenging, saying, “I am not going to be in your life, or beg you and encourage you, push you, force you, shame you, or pay you to change.” (Maté, 2021) Your desire and want to get help and stop has to come from you and within, so I must go. So, facilitating this may not look like helping your partner because you love them and think you are protecting them, but it truly is. Recognizing your role in the relationship and looking for the communication signs will help them into the recovery stage by supporting the addicted person to seek help and not enabling them to continue.

Recovery

There are ways to help and recognize that our first responders need help, which is the first vital step in understanding recovery. Recovery needs and should become their new ongoing lifestyle. The two of the most well-known programs of recovery are Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), and Narcotics Anonymous (NA) where people with addiction to alcohol or drugs use a 12-step program to assist them with recovering from their substance abuse and maintain sobriety. There are five stages of recovery: pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation, action, and maintenance. (Recovery At The Crossroads. 2022) Understanding each stage will help you and your partner gain a better understanding of how to cope with the addiction and provide the tools required to maintain sobriety.

For recovery to be successful, it must become an ongoing process for both of you in this relationship, requiring a more in-depth look into other programs, methods, or resources, as this article has only touched the surface. Recovery and relapse become a significant concern as well throughout this process and a new lifestyle.

Relapse

Studies reflect that about 40-60% of individuals relapse within 30 days of leaving an inpatient drug and alcohol treatment center, and up to 85% relapse within the first year.

The addicted partner must understand and recognize their triggers. Triggers are usually people, places, and things that supported their original negative habits; recognizing and altering them to support positive affirmation to avoid them are tools designed to support recovery and sobriety.

Relapse becomes common when there is a co-occurring mental health disorder, e.g., PTSD, bipolar, or other unaddressed issues. Research has indicated that as much as 50% of individuals with substance abuse may have co-occurring mental health disorders. These co-occurring disorders can complicate an individual’s ability to manage their addiction and elevate the likelihood of relapse. Therefore, addressing co-occurring mental health disorders is critical for successful addiction treatment, as the nonaddicted partner, department, family, friends, and loved ones must take notice and help navigate the difficulties. (Dodge, 2023)

Involving all parties in the mental health component and addiction treatment can be beneficial as it provides support for the addicted person, helping them address any underlying issues that may have contributed to their addiction in the first place, as everyone’s vulnerabilities can become the pathway to strength by not waiting to seek out the help required to support the person struggling as it will never be as effective or detrimental if done alone. Everyone needs support, as hope helps us through the darkest times. (Desmond Tutu, n.d.)

References:

Alcoholism & addiction among police officers: Police alcoholism rate. Guardian Recovery Network. https://www.guardianrecovery.com/detox-and-recovery-for-alcohol-addiction/facts-alcoholism-police-officers/

Ballenger, J. F., Best, S. R., Metzler, T. J., Wasserman, D. A., Mohr, D. C., Liberman, A., Delucchi, K., Weiss, D. S., Fagan, J. A., Waldrop, A. E., & Marmar, C. R. (2011). Patterns and predictors of alcohol use in male and female urban police officers. The American journal on addictions. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3592498/

Dodge, K. (2023, August 17). Why an addict can’t Love you: The hard truth: BHC. Behavioral Health Centers. https://behavioralhealth-centers.com/blog/what-to-expect-when-youre-in-a-relationship-with-a-drug-addict/

Maté, G. (2021) Gabor Maté, M.D., Jack Hirose & Associates. Available at: http://www.jackhirose.com/speaker/gabor-mate-m-d/#:~:text=Gabor%20Mat%C3%A9%20(pronunciation%3A%20GAH%2D,drug%20addiction%20and%20mental%20illness 

McCarthy, C., & Oliveira, A. (2024, February 5). Ny Cop Launches Crusade on police mental health amid spiraling crisis: “living proof.” New York Post. https://nypost.com/2024/02/04/metro/retired-ny-cop-launches-crusade-on-police-mental-health-amid-spiraling-crisis-living-proof/

PTSD in First Responders. Institutes of Health. (2023, August 16). https://institutesofhealth.org/ptsd-in-first-responders/#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20Substance%20Abuse,is%201%20in%205%20people.

Recovery At The Crossroads. (2022) What are the stages of addiction recovery?.2022July 5). https://www.racnj.com/the-five-stages-of-addiction-recovery/#:~:text=The%20five%20stages%20of%20addiction%20recovery%20are%20precontemplation%2C%20contemplation%2C%20preparation,mor e%20about%20the%20various%20stages.

Substance abuse among police & law enforcement. American Addiction Centers. (2023, July 10). https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/police

Tutu, D (2016) The Book of Forgiving, Why We Forgive https://www.rd.com/article/desmond-tutu-forgive/

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