Of all the anti-natalist propaganda that circulates in American culture, I only find one talking point compelling: childless people get better sleep. Yes, here on month four of baby three’s sleep regression, I will give you that. At this point, asking me about a good night’s rest is like dangling food in front of a starving animal with no intention of feeding it. Cruel and unusual punishment. A gratuitous provocation. I might bite.
Fortunately I have these practices to put me in a better frame of mind when running on fumes is the only option.
Drink a tall glass of ice water. Soak your face in a bowl of it for ten seconds. Massage your undereyes with an ice cube. Take the coldest shower you can. Exposing yourself to extreme colds, in whichever way you choose, decreases inflammation, relieves pain, improves circulation, lowers stress levels, and reduces muscle soreness and mental fatigue. Doing this first thing in the morning, when you have a long day ahead after a short night’s sleep, can rev the engine and help you get by.
Exercise
It’s the last thing you’ll want to do, but light exercise in the morning, particularly in the sunlight, can help you regulate your “circadian clock” — the body’s mechanism for anticipating when to wake up and go to sleep — and it manages other biological processes like hunger and body temperature. If you don’t want your bad sleep to derail your health, consider this.
Make a manageable list of things to do – and do them
The temptation for me, when I profoundly lack sleep, is to turn on the television for the kids and languish until the day slips by. But this is how sleeplessness soon becomes a depressive spiral. I’ve found it’s important to hold oneself to a standard, even if it must be temporarily reconfigured to accommodate a lesser capacity to perform well. If only to psychologically fool yourself for a day, I’ve found making a list of small, manageable items and just doing them despite discomfort is the best way to move past the discomfort, ironically enough.
Plan and prepare for better sleep
Whether it’s getting your child on a more effective feeding schedule or getting to bed earlier, there are many different ways to pursue better sleep hygiene. Sometimes it’s unavoidable, but sometimes what begins as an unavoidable interruption can quickly turn into an excuse for indulging chronic bad habits. At 5 p.m., you can directly begin preparing for sleep: chamomile tea, magnesium, tart cherry juice, no phone after 6 p.m. Andrew Huberman’s list is more exhaustive, but my point is more about radical honesty with oneself. Are we allowing difficulty to consume us or improve us? It’s a question worth considering, even and especially when exhaustion is a factor.