The NBA is, by far, the most ubiquitous sport on social media in our country.
The league has 8 million more Twitter followers than the NFL. YouTube is littered with highlights. It makes sense. The athletes are far more recognizable in the NBA. They’re well over 6 feet tall. They don’t wear helmets. NFL rosters are 53 men deep; NBA rosters are 15 deep.
Plus, the fabric of the league is far more interwoven in popular culture than any other sport in the country. For that reason, I thought I’d hand out some wagers for this season that fall into some of our favorite social media stereotypes we like to mock.
Phone eats first
This person won’t let his/her friends enjoy the food they just ordered before a video is taken because it has to be documented to social media so his/her followers can see how lavishly he/she eats. They may have good taste in the culinary arts, but very annoying.
Kyrie Irving, over 26.5 PPG
Doesn’t that sound like the Nets mercurial point guard? Yes, Irving is one of the most enjoyable talents to watch on the floor. His effortless scoring and mesmerizing ballhandling are truly all-time great in this league. But man, we sure have to wade through a lot from Irving before we get to enjoy his talents. Irving, just let the dining experience (your prodigious gifts on the court) speak for itself. We get it, you’re a contrarian thinker and you like the public to know as much. Noted. Now, can we enjoy this nice meal?
Take me back traveler
This person posts multiple times about the one vacation they went on, lamenting that they want to go back. Usually with a crying face emoji. We get it, you enjoyed the Amalfi Coast in 2019 … either save up and go back or be quiet about it. You’ve posted that scenic photo five times in the past eight months.
Los Angeles Lakers, under 44.5 wins
The Bubble title sure was a nice, picturesque moment for this franchise. LeBron James and Anthony Davis on top of the world, looking like the happiest couple in the world. Well, since then, they’ve returned back home to L.A. and dealt with difficulties in their marriage (injuries), and now there’s a new member of the family who is actually making life even more miserable (Russell Westbrook). They are desperate to return to the time when life was grand, on the Amalfi Coast, but they can’t afford it right now until someone gets a promotion and they get into some really intensive therapy. We’ll see.
‘Oh my God, that’s my niece’
This is for us Boomer and Millennial types who look at our feed one day and all of a sudden, “OMG, that’s my 12-year-old niece!” posting some viral Tik Tok dance. Immediately, a wave of elderly dread washes over, and you wonder whether her parents know she’s now wearing makeup.
If you really want to feel old, consider this: Paolo Banchero is the favorite to win Rookie of the Year. The No. 1 pick out of Duke was born in November 2002. And Banchero is far from the youngest lottery pick among the favorites on the board. Houston Rockets forward Jabari Smith Jr. was born in May 2003!
A month after Smith was born, the Cleveland Cavaliers selected some kid out of St. Vincent-St. Mary High School with the No. 1 overall pick in the 2003 draft.
Rookie of the year, Bennedict Mathurin (+750)
Mathurin is a 2002 baby, if you were wondering, but his game appears mature beyond its years. He gets to the basket aggressively and invites contact and opportunities to go to the free throw line. He scored 19.8 PPG in four preseason games while averaging just 22.8 minutes. He made 85% of his free throw attempts (27) and shot 48.2% from the field. The Pacers are going to be one of the worst teams in the league, so Mathurin should get plenty of minutes to build a ROTY résumé … especially if the team deals veterans such as Buddy Hield and Myles Turner to a playoff contender.
Gym bro
Literally, the worst. Without qualification.
Worst regular-season record, Utah Jazz (+300)
Danny Ainge is now the man in charge of basketball operations for the Jazz, and it’s abundantly clear he is hell-bent on maximizing Utah’s probability of acquiring once-in-a-millennium prospect Victor Wembanyama, the 7-foot-4 Frenchman with guard skills and a sweet stroke.
The Jazz gutted their roster this offseason. Donovan Mitchell, Rudy Gobert, Joe Ingles and Quin Snyder are all gone. Utah has little talent and no incentive to win basketball games this season. The Jazz are not the only team vying for Wembanyama, but they’re my pick to have the worst record.
Source: www.espn.com