-
DJ GalloESPN.com
Research. Research is key in fantasy football. You can research every waking minute of the offseason. You can research fantasy football draft trends. You can research sleepers and busts lists. You can research team depth charts. And as Google Trends will tell you, you can also research “best fantasy football team names 2022” to “cool fantasy football team names” and even “nsfw fantasy football team names” and the more direct “dirty fantasy football team names” as well. It seems that a lot of research goes into what to name your fantasy football team. And you know what? I get it.
You can do all sorts of research and nail your draft. You can expertly manipulate the waiver wire. Pull off trades so lopsided that “collusion” accusations fly on the league chat. You can do everything right in fantasy football … and still see your whole season, all that work, be destroyed by circumstances out of your control.
Injury. An untimely maintenance week for one of your star players. Or Rashaad Penny suddenly deciding to run for 170 yards and two touchdowns in Week 17 and he’s in your opponent’s lineup. I mean why suddenly does Rashaad Penny get 27 touches?! I know Chris Carson was hurt, but come on! Rashaad Penny is Tecmo Bo all of a sudden? He’s never had that many touches in a game in his entire career! Try to play at least some defense, Lions! Stop gobbling kneecaps for one second and make a damn tackle!
Anyway. Fantasy football can be frustrating. Because ultimately, all you really can control is one thing: picking a good name for your team. Partly punny, possibly even funny, almost entirely dad-jokey, your team name serves as a daily reminder that the point of this fake football game of ours is ultimately enjoyment. It’s supposed to be fun. A diversion. A treasured activity that brings friends, family and co-workers together each Fall. Until Rashaad Penny come along and ruins it, of course.
So without further ado, here are the best fantasy team names of 2022.
The cool classics
You’ve probably heard a lot of these team names before. And for good reason. They’re tried and true. Let’s start at quarterback.
Country Roads, Take Mahomes
Mahomes on the Range
Rolling with My Mahomes
Sherlock Mahomes
Just the Daks
Daks Over Feelings
Dak to the Future
Hit Me with Your Prescott
Baby Got Dak
DakStreet Boys
Professional Russelling
Kissing Cousins
Luck be a Brady
The Brady Bunch
Brady Gaga
JoshKosh b’Gosh
Beg Burrow and Steal
Stafford Infection
Kobra Kyler
Kyler the Creator
Kyle Soze
Natural Born Kylers
Thrill Murray
There’s Something About Murray
A Tannehill to Die On
Hurts So Good
Justin Time
Attempted Carson
Mayfield of Dreams
I’m About to Go Goff
Those final three are all solid puns. But naming your fantasy team after Carson Wentz, Baker Mayfield or Jared Goff? Maybe not a recipe for success.
Next, let’s do running backs. The 2022 season may not have as many true, set-it-and-forget-it RB1s as years past, but the running back position still produces team names at an elite level.
Hot Chubb Time Machine
Rubba Chubb Chubb
Lights Kamara Action
Kamara Borealis
Zeke Squad
Zeke and Ye Shall Find
Conner Among Thieves
Forgive and Fournette
Little Len Fournette
Mixon Match
Mixon It Up
Catalina Wine Mixon
Rum CMC
Christian Mingle
Oh Henry
Dalvin Right In
Akers Dozen
Akers Mark
Green Eggs and Cam
Baskin Dobbins
For Goodness Saquon
Oh Saquon You See
Say You, Saquon
All Barkley No Bite
Let’s all hope Saquon Barkley gets back to producing more touchdowns than fantasy team names. Onto receivers.
Ob-La-Di, OBJ, Life Goes On
Life indeed goes on. Odell Beckham Jr., not so long ago one of the biggest names in the sport, isn’t even on an NFL roster right now. So you’ll have to keep this name in your back pocket for now. As for team names inspired by wide receivers currently in uniform …
Radioactive D.K.
T.D. Metcalf
How I Metcalf Your Mother
That’s Amari
Is It Too Late to Say Amari?
7th Evans
Stairway to Evans
Godwin Bless America
Godwin Or Go Home
Bad Juju
Jujulemon
Me and Julio Down by the End Zone
Hooked On a Thielen
Thielen Groovy
Wheelin & Thielen
You’ve Got That Loving Thielen
Can’t Fight This Thielen
Adam Thielen is coming off one of his worst seasons statistically, but you have to admit that he still produces fantasy team names with the best of them.
Davante’s Inferno
Diontae’s Inferno
DeVonta’s Inferno
Are you a fan of 14th-century Italian poetry? Well, good news: there are plenty of wide receiver-inspired team name options available. Draft accordingly.
Kupp and At ‘Em
Kupp Yours
Championship Kupp
The Kuppets
Admittedly, there are better fantasy team names out there. But you have Cooper Kupp on your team. You don’t need to be the best at everything. Next up: tight ends.
Hockenson Loogies
Kelce Handler
Kittle Big Town
Kittle League
Too Kittle Too Late
Ertz So Good
Love Ertz
Tell Me Where It Ertz
Zach Ertz’s production long ago fell behind his fantasy team name value, but the pickings are slim at tight end. I mean, in recent years we’ve lost “Mary Kate and Greg Olsen” and “It Hurts When Eifert.” We can’t lose Zach Ertz just yet.
Bad Mother Tucker
Yippee Ki-Yay Justin Tucker
Look, like all leagues, yours has probably discussed getting rid of the kicker position. But keep it at least until Justin Tucker retires. Keep it for the names.
The best of the new class
The names above have all been around for years. But first-year players, emerging players and cultural events inspire new team names each season. It is the circle of fake football life. If you’re looking to change things up in 2022, here are some options.
Najee By Nature
Etienne-tion Please
Breeced Lightning
Give Breece a Chance
Peaceful Breecey Feeling
Better Call Hall
Dillon in the Name Of
Dillon Them Softly
Drake London Calling
Lazard Eyes
Lazard Beam
The Dalton Our Stars
To be clear, that one was for emerging fantasy tight end Dalton Schultz, not Saints backup quarterback Andy Dalton.
Lance Party
Lance in the Pants
They Forgot About Trey
50 Shades of Trey
Trey Hive
Olave Garden
Skyy’s the Limit
Mooney Tunes
Bad Mooney Rising
Amon Joy
No Amon No Cry
Amon on a Mission
If Amon Ra-St. Brown ends up being even half as good on the football field as he is in the fantasy team name-generating department, the Detroit Lions have themselves a Hall of Famer.
Jamaal in the Family
Better Call Jamaal
Unfortunately, there are no Kim Wexler-inspired names, but at least Detroit’s Jamaal Williams and new Jet Breece Hall give us some options to honor Saul Goodman.
Con-Aaron Rodgers
Is this reference to the outfit Aaron Rodgers wore to the first day of training camp back in July going to feel relevant to you in December? Really? Will it even be topical by Halloween? OK, your call. I just hope you’re immunized to criticism.
Ayahuasca Times
Ayahuasca the Grouch
Enema of the State
There we go. Those are names that perhaps better capture Aaron Rodgers’ offseason.
Kyler’s Film Club
Zach’s PTA Party
Aaron Rodgers wasn’t the only quarterback who made headlines this offseason.
Christian McCalfstrain
No one wants injuries. No one finds injuries funny. But this team name proclaims to your league: “Yes, I have the eminently talented Christian McCaffrey on my roster … and I also fully understand the risks involved.”
Ja’Marr The Merrier
Ja’Marr Ja’Marr Binks
PP Ja’Marr League
Ja’Marr Chase is the total NFL package: size, speed, strength, intelligence, artistry and — maybe best of all — a great name.
Pitts and Giggles
PittsCoin
Kyle Pitts has too much talent to only score a single touchdown again in 2022, right? And along those lines, bitcoin can’t possibly go any lower, right? Maybe? Possibly?
Taylor Made
Jonathan Taylor Promise
Look, the name “Jonathan Taylor” doesn’t exactly lend itself to a ton of wordplay. But he’s the consensus No. 1 pick in fantasy this year. So a golf brand and a reference to an actor from the 1990s sitcom “Home Improvement” is the best we’re going to be able to do. Prove me wrong.
Joe Burrow, Joe Mixon, Ja’Marr Chase, Tee Higgins, Tyler Boyd … hey, it’s a really good fantasy team.
The Rashaadfather
In Rashaad We Trust
Just because Rashaad Penny ruined my fantasy season last year doesn’t mean that he doesn’t deserve some team name love. At least, that’s what my editor tells me.
Let’s get weird: player combos
It’s unwise to draft someone just for the team name, but if you happen to land a perfect name combination? There are worse draft outcomes.
Truth and Justins for All
If you manage to land Justin Jefferson and Justin Herbert in your draft, your team deserves a name as good as its roster.
Chase for the Kupp
Cooper Kupp and Ja’Marr Chase as your wide receivers? The chase is pretty much over. You’ve already won.
Mac and Chase
Ja’Marr Chase is great. Mac Jones … we’ll see. But if you’re building your team around Mac Jones and Chase Edmonds? You’ll be in the mood for cheesy comfort food all season long.
Drake and Bake
Drake London and Baker Mayfield are projected to combine for 420 fantasy points this year. Probably. I’m assuming.
RashOdd Couple
It’s risky to bank on both Rashaad Penny and Rashod Bateman this season. But it’s riskier to start your season without a decent team name.
Hunter Gatherer
If you draft both Hunter Renfrow and Hunter Henry, you, my friend, are by definition a Hunter gatherer.
Names better (currently) than the players who inspire them
The Giants desperately need Kenny Golladay to produce like the player they thought they signed last offseason. Fantasy managers just need him to be relevant enough again to use these team names.
Happy Golladays
It’s The Golladay Season
Hotel Motel Golladay Inn
Trevor Lawrence, Justin Fields and Mac Jones didn’t exactly light up the fantasy world as rookie quarterbacks. Here’s to better things in 2022.
Long Arm of the Lawrence
Justin Time
Bout That Maction
We know Tyreek Hill will name his fantasy team after his new teammate Tua Tagovailoa, but are you confident enough in the Dolphins quarterback for that just yet?
Tuafinity and Beyond
Tua Lipa
Tua Be Or Not Tua Be
We’ve been waiting for DJ Chark, Laviska Shenault and Russell Gage to have breakout seasons since they entered the league. If this is the season, have these team names ready to go.
Charknado
Chark Attack
Hasta Laviska Baby
Gage Against the Machine
It’s a shame that Noah Fant has yet to live up to his fantasy superstar potential considering he has 57% of the word “fantasy” right there in his name. But he’s not the only tight end with team name upside.
Fant-asy Team
You Fant Touch This
How I Kmet Your Mother
Kmet the Frog
Mo Alie Mo Problems
Mitch Trubisky may be Pittsburgh’s starter in Week 1, but relying on him in fantasy would truly be …
Trubisky Business
Same with these inconsistent fantasy running backs:
Sony Side Up My Little Sony
Josh Jacobs Jingleheimer Schmidt
Fresh Prince of Helaire
And, finally, one of the great tragedies in fantasy football is that receivers with names this good have yet to make much of a dent in the league.
Keke, Do You Love Me?
Feeling Coutee Might Delete Later
Death Cab for Coutee
N’Keal Before Zod
N’Kealin Me Softly
Names we unfortunately have To retire
These players are no longer on an NFL roster. We thank them for their years of team name service.
Kerryon My Wayward Son
Kerryon Baggage
Le’Veon on a Jet Plane
Le’Veon Let Die
Le’Veon a Prayer
I Kalen Like a Wrecking Ballage
Kalen Me Smalls
It’s a Hard Gronk Life
The Big Gronkowski
Good luck this fantasy season. And happy naming. May your season have more puns than punts.
Source: www.espn.com