You may have heard, but the NHL is back on ESPN. We are very excited about this.

But, I’ll let you in on a little secret – in some ways, the NHL never left ESPN. Our Bristol, Connecticut campus, for example, is full of passionate hockey fans, always has been. I feel like it’s split between Rangers, Bruins, Devils and Islanders fans, with a smattering from the rest of the league depending on where you look. But one thing that has kept that hockey flame flickering year over year has been fantasy hockey.

But that’s many hockey fans – each year, we scratch our brains putting together mock drafts, read up on projections and try and find diamonds in the rough for our teams so we can crush our friends and hold bragging rights all the way until the next season when you do it all over again (and if you’re in a league that has a trophy, like say a fantasy hockey championship belt, that’s awesome and please tag me in a picture with it on Twitter @arda).

One thing that you don’t want to be caught doing, though, is having a terrible fantasy hockey name. Granted, it’s tough to do that, because most have some sort of redeeming quality, but there are some stinkers out there (in fact, there will certainly be stinkers on my list, at least to some people… keep reading).

Some of us are inherently creative and can think of a dozen fantasy hockey names on the fly. Others need inspiration. For that, I decided to go to the perfect person at ESPN to ask.

What goes into a banger fantasy team name?

For this answer I consulted Matthew Berry, who knows a thing or two or seven hundred about fantasy sports, teams and naming your team. He says there are two main categories that make your team names pop: puns, and digs at your opponents. Puns are easy (especially if you’re a parent). Take a team name, player name, something that relates to anything hockey or pop culture and make it a play on words, something that rhymes, something like that. Pavel Brendl Clark, for example. (Bonus points from me for the deep cut references).

So, without further ado, some team names to get your creative juices flowing.. if you take one from this list and use it for your team this season, please tag me on the socials so I can share in this joy! Some of these might be longer than your team name allows so feel free to shorten them or use them as inspiration for another name:

Alexander No-Kvechin

Kuzy’s Doozies

Shut your 5 hole

NHL 94 > 95

Kraken a cold one

Maple Leaves after 1st rd

Mario LeMeilleur Que Vous

Kessel’s HotDogs

The #1 Bullsh*ts

Flat belly Celly

Nasher Nation

Petey’s Marbles

Frank Bathe fans

Extra strength Antti Laaksonen

McJesus

My son’s also named YzeBort

Gordie Howe will I win

Jacked Laidlaws

Eddie Lack of Awareness

Sergei says…. Federov

Greg Krushelwyshynski

Chicken Parm for Colby Arm…. Strong

Bunch of Jerks Leclerc

John LeClair’s Eclairs

Kyle Dubask in my glory

Cicarelli flat belly Celly

Jyoooooooo Sakic

Jason LaBarbera Streisand

I don’t think you’re ready for Pacioretti (… or this Chelly)

Fleury’s sword

The Allan Walsh Project

Letterkenny’s noregretzkys

Puck soup uwe krupp

Don’t have a cowprizov

Cheugy Hamilton

InstaDirkGraham

That’s Gotta Be (Patrick) Kane!

Toews catchin Woews

Chicago Made Punk

Lundqvist’s jawline

Owen By The Power of Greyskull

Hughes Clues

The New York Saints (… or Islanders, bonus if you get the reference)

Ryan Reaves KO Tom Wilson

Byfuglien’s Muffins

Bag skate

The tape forgetters

Smallest LaViolette

Landeskog in the wheel

The Turkish Delights (… actually don’t use that, because I will)

Blake Underline Bolden Italic

Times new Roman Hamrlik

Game of Stromes

Ted Lasso’s Aho Radek Fakso Aho

Stranger Stanley Cup Rings

Igor Shestwerkin

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