The same is true of those ickle turtles stacked in Tupperware boxes outside of boardwalk pet shops. Adorable red-eared sliders, the most popular pet breed, are an absolute menace in the wild. Originally from certain parts of the Mississippi, these blood-marked bastards have taken over almost every U.S. state, including Hawaii, bulking up to the point that neither the local predators nor turtle species stand a chance against their slow-but-steady rampage. And every part of their feeding frenzy seems tailor-made to utterly destroy their environments. As with goldfish, their oversized poop promotes hazardous algae bloom that turns local ponds into green sludge pools. Not merely an eyesore, these algae-fied ponds also reflect sunlight and rob the water of precious oxygen, slowly choking the life out of local plants and, eventually, every other living creature in a five-mile radius.
This begs the question: What are you supposed to do with unwanted fishbowl pets instead of ‘setting them free’ in the local pond? Flushing them down the toilet isn’t a better option. Besides the inherent cruelty of a one-way ride down the poop pipe, municipal sewage works will often dump their surplus into the local wetlands – and invasive goldfish don’t mind swimming over a hundred miles a year until they reach a more suitable stomping ground. That only leaves reluctant pet owners with three options: Either step up and take responsibility for the lives you purchase, find a local rescue willing to take in an overbred species (hint: they’ve got bigger fish to fry), or put that fishbowl in the freezer. Not only is death by popsicle the most humane way to dispose of aquarium pets, but, as the dinosaurs can attest to, nothing keeps our world free from monster predator invasions quite like an impromptu Ice Age.
For more weird tangents on the ongoing pet store kaiju threat, do follow Cedric on Twitter.
Top Image: Sri Lanka, Unsplash/California Department of Fish and Wildlife, Flickr
Related: 5 Animals Who Prove Mother Nature Is Mega-Drunk
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