Which Presidential Painting Portfolio Sucks Least

Speaking of art that often looks like it was done by someone with visible stitches on their cranium, did you know President Donald Trump is a professional artist? Using a technique befitting his intellect and talent, permanent marker, Trump hastily doodled some sketches of New York buildings to pawn off charity auctions in the nineties. The most successful one, a somehow failed attempt at drawing a recognizable Empire State Building, sold for $100 in 1995. However, like so many artists misunderstood by their time, Trump’s work was later reevaluated as profoundly valuable — right around the time he won the presidency. In 2017, the Empire State Building drawing and a sketch of a generic NY skyline were sold at Julien’s fancy art auction for $16,000 and $29,000, respectively. An in-house critic having analyzed Trump’s art to “symbolize ascent” through his use of straight lines and soaring blacks.

And then there’s, of course, the most famous Large Adult Son of the art world himself, President George W. Bush. Working with oil (of course), Bush has spent the last decade painting several series of portraits of all the people he met/screwed over as a president, including other world leaders, Iraq and Afghanistan veterans, and immigrants.

But unlike the other Presidential painters so far, at least Bush’s work gives a glimpse into the soul of the artist. Specifically, that this artist is the kind of deluded narcissist who not only turns his war crimes into hobby fodder but whose every artwork weirdly looks a bit like himself — including the ones of dogs.